Unfiltered Race Notes: Grand Prix of Louisiana 2015

Welcome back to the second installment of everyones favorite race review! Here we are in NOLA Motorsport Park for the inaugural Grand Prix of Louisiana. After a wet start to the weekend, I’m ready to get down to business. Let’s do this!

–Prerace–

I SEE ROOSTER TAILS!!

Good to see you again NBCSN.

I hope we actually race. It cannot rain again or these INTERMEDIATE tires with a ROAD INSPIRED TREAD PATTERN won’t be able to handle this drizzle.

I hope firestone brings a true full wet sometime this year. They look just as bad as IndyCar does when we have continued issues in the rain.

Starting on entrant points due to lightning in quals. OK. I can dig it. JPM up front is never a bad thing, Even if he ended qualifying in the grass. I’LL TAKE IT!

Even though quals got wiped from history, Bourdais SHOULT NOT have been penalized for impeding the progress of TK. I’m sorry, but TK should not have been on a flier. Why were there not yellows waving for the car off the track? Can’t impede someone yielding for yellows. Right?

Reading the future of the race with tarot cards? Cheesy, but I can dig it.

Ok. 22 minutes of prerace. That’s what I’m talking about. Lets do this!

–Race–

GREEN

Less spray than I thought we would see.

TK already motocrossing over the curbs. I hope his back is alright.

JPM checking out already.

Bourdais and Pagenaud knife-fighting already. It’s so early.

2

In-car with TK. It doesn’t look that bad. Very little standing water. These guys should be able to handle this for 75 laps.

3

Sage loses a wing tower doo-dad. First piece of debris. Not bad at all. It’s amazing what not having concrete walls lining the circuit will do for debris.

4

Penske on a split set-up. Interesting.

6

People are thinking about slicks? What?

7

JPM is losing slightly to Power. I would usually say cue the jaws music if the roles were reversed, but Power is in the zone.

8

Power looking for water.

9

The cars look very good here, but so much of the track looks like every other part of the track. No distinctive features or landmarks at all.

10

Back to the front. Power and JPM are in a different area code… Ok. I’m preparing myself for a full season of this. I love these guys but even I want to see more colors at the front.

11

TK and RHR in for… SLICKS?!?! Dudes… I do not agree with this strategy.

Onboard with TK following RHR. Um.. No grip at all.

13

Looks like those who are heading to pitlane are also taking reds. This is why I’m not a race engineer.

The sky has cleared enough to allow the helicopter to linger on-site. The dry line does not look to be forming quite yet.

14

TK in the grass and ALMOST INTO SIMONA AND MARCO. Damn son. Get it together.

15

Leaders in. everyone on reds

How has there not been a yellow yet? Well done drivers. Let’s keep it up!

Chaves doing donut in the grass. This is comical.

HCN right there with Power. Amazing. This may be closer that we had initially thought.

16

SOME RANDOM DUDE just pushed Chaves off the curb only for him to stall like 37 feet down the road. ALL FOR NOT. Thank you for your help though, random dude in a button down.

YELLOW

Colletti commenting about how much more room and respect is given over here compared to his time in GP2. That’s awesome to hear.

21

GREEN

OH NO!! Hawks and Jakes into the barrier before the line!

And Dracone spins it heading into T1. Thank goodness he didn’t collect anyone else. Repeat after me: He will be out of the car by Indy. He will be out of the car by Indy…

YELLOW

For Hawks into the barrier. Yes, his car is definitely bent.

HCN with massive wing damage. Ouch.

Looks like Jakes lost it and Hawks had nowhere to go. Too bad for the sophomore savant.

22

Well, I guess HCN punted Dracone. I’m sorry… But not really. Seriously, he’ll be gone by Indy.

Miller with Hawks. Man, he is upset. What a great day thrown away by success in the stair lift industry.

24

JPM telling IndyCar that someone will have a massive shunt on the back straight if someone doesn’t blow this water away. Ahem. This is what called a mixed condition race Mr. Montoya. If you’re gonna shunt on reds, you should have stayed with wets.

26

Crew member down in the Dracone pit with the driver facing the wrong way. Considering the injured crew member, I will withhold snarky comments regarding Dracone.

27

Booth says this could be a timed race.

JPM, Power, Pags. Coming to

GREEN

28

OH MY GOODNESS. COLETTI!!Amazing no one got collected with him. Young guy is so lucky he backed it into an armco instead of concrete. What a hit.

YELLOW

Booth guesses we will get in 56 laps. Damn. And more rain 20 minutes out. Double damn.

32 (37 minutes remain)

GREEN

Rahal almost pulls a Coletti.

But I have to say, GET ON IT RAHAL. I picked you in both my fantasy leagues.

YELLOW

Karam into the kitty litter. Ok. This is getting ridiculous. Can we please get some racing in today?!

Onboard with Rahal. Great save. I think pops taking himself off the pit stand may do more for Rahal than any other change in his entire carear.

Not sure what lap we are on.

The entire field heads in to take fuel and reds. Last stops of the day. 23 laps left? I have no idea, I feel like I haven’t seen the lap ticker in 15 minutes.

Booth to car radio is a success?!? How often does that happen?!?

  1. Hinch in the lead through snazzy pit work. This may just play into his hands.

GRE… YELLOW

Huertas spins it before the line. Dude.

26 minutes left per the booth. I still have no idea what lap we are on.

Wow, Coletti back out after fixing what was though to be a damaged gear box?

This is feeling like a s*** show today…

Question of the moment: Will se actually get to see more than 2 consecutive laps of green flag racing? No. I highly doubt it.

OMG OMG THE LAP TICKER

39 (17 minutes remain)

20 minutes to do 7 laps? We aren’t at Circuit de la Sarthe? Ok, just making sure… That’s so IndyCar.

GREEN

HOLY CRAP, NOBODY SPUN ON THE GREEN!!!!!!! (<- extra !! just because it was that damn amazing)

Simona into P4. Now that’s how you cover yourself in glory after such a forgettable weekend in St. Pete.

40

Jakes pressuring HCN. Is this opposite day?

JPM around Power… Excellent..

JPM will drive from hear on out like a crazy person. I vote to stay onboard with him for the remainder of the race.

41

Jakes around HCN. What? No. Ok. I was about to lose my mind.

YELLOW

Because of course.

Stall by Karam? Sigh. Not what we need to see.

Good for Hinch. I how want this to go yellow the rest of the way considering there is so little time left. Hinch and SSM could use this good will early in the year.

43 (8 minutes remain)

GREEN

HCN is getting hounded by Jakes and Simona. This is excellent stuff.

WOAH! CARBON FIBER AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!

Bourdais, RHR and Pags smashed each other. Pags giving Bourdais some lip.

Come on Pags, wait until he gets out and box him!

Now Pags over to RHR to give him some lip. Dude is on a roll.

Replay shows us that Bourdais is a lucky man. He almost took a gearbox to the face.

Man, 3 wide. I don’t think Pags has too much of a right to blame either driver. That was just a scary ass crash. Really, Pags shouldn’t have put himself on the outside of 2 other drivers racing for position in the wet. This is IndyCar for goodness sakes, what did you think would happen?!

45 (3 minutes remain)

Mercifully, I think this thing will run out of time. I cant handle any more of this. Not a great first trip to NOLA for the series.

47 (2 seconds remain)

WHITE

Congrats Mr Hinch. Talk about a battle of attrition.

Looks like Simona will come home in P4 and Jakes in P3. Who had that for their fantasy league?!

I hope this will secure the short term future for Simona. She deserves so much more after everything she has endured in IndyCar.

48

CHECKERS

THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS THIS IS OVER.

I’m out; see you in Long Beach.

Eric Hall

 

 

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2 Responses to Unfiltered Race Notes: Grand Prix of Louisiana 2015

  1. Dateline: Avondale LA.

    The IndyCar Series set a new North American record for fan expense per green flag lap. The detailed numbers are not in yet but it is clear that this eventt will surpass any previous North American racing event. The European record is still held by the 1984 Monaco GP; and the International by the 1991 Australian GP (as adjusted for inflation)

  2. WingSideUp says:

    Eric-PLEASE don’t ever jinx us again with wondering out loud how there hasn’t been a yellow yet! JK! Another very cool and candid post that helped relieve the pressures of being an IndyCar fan over the weekend. Keep up the good work!

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